A blessing in disguise?

My back went out last week, in a real bad way. I couldn't hardly walk the first day, the second I hobbled to a chiropractor downtown. After x-rays showing many old injuries acting up and much damage from a life lived rough, the doctor ordered me to come back in a few days when the pain had let up, as he couldn't even touch me without causing me immense pain. But as I was getting ready to mince my way out of his exam room to make another appointment, he shared a substantial bit of information that contained a bundle of hope. He could possibly help with my healing. Not just my back, hips and neck, but with my PTSD, anxiety & depression. Previously unawares to me, my neck is out of place and it's pinching nerves that have much to do with psychological responses. So unkink my neck and I'm all better? Well it's never that easy, but I should be quite improved! There's a chance I could even feel well enough to lower or even wean off my meds entirely! That thought fills me with joy and hope!

"You've never flown on a Firefly before have you?" -Kaylee

Nope, but I want to.

Falling off the bandwagon,...again.

I have skipped the last 3 therapy sessions in a row, shame on me. Can't be helped if I won't go to the help right? But sometimes the help is more than I can take and I just need a breather. I go through fits of not wanting to heal only because of the fear of how much it hurts to review memories and feelings. I've had an upswing in nightmares as of late and that isn't helping me want to go and discuss them either. I need to return to my sessions, and I will, but not just yet. In my own way, I'm still working through it. I can't, after all, just ignore the nightmares and the memories that they pull into the light. I can't avoid them, I've tried. I'm not supposed to either. Sometimes it's just too much and natural instinct says Hide.

"Too much snow on the roof. Gonna cave in." - River Tam

But then, you eventually have to come out of hiding and face it all in the light. Lord give me strength.