The anniversary of my attack passed this year without too much trouble or tears, I'm happy to report. The days leading up to it saw a massive violent rage fit and many many tears shed. The day of, passed with out incident, no dreams, no flashbacks, not even the smallest reminder. I actually questioned if I had the day correct. That lead me to a thought, has my mind fixated on the date? I know the time of year reminds me, when it has snowed and the temp gets to a certain point and it's dark outside, I remember things without wanting to. Even if it's not near the date, I remember. I've identified those conditions as a trigger. It's only been a few days since, but I already feel as though I've crested a peak in my year and can start relaxing again. I'm still a tad mopey and I have been daily running through the week as though it were happening all over again, the aftermath was nearly as bad as the event! But this year, I feel as though there's a thick fog keeping it from touching me too hard, and I'm watching it play out again like a show on a projector screen. Large and in my face, but fairly harmless.
I asked my husband the morning of, if he thought from his prospective, if I've improved at all this year. He said he did think I had gained a little more control and I'm making progress. He, as usual, was very comforting and as always, a steady rock bolstering me up. Thank you Lord for him!
All in all, I have some encouragement, that I'm getting better and next year may even be easier to pass through! All I can do is rest & hope in the Lord. I know everything will be alright one day.
