Wednesday, August 8, 2012

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me!"

In less than two months' time, we'll be moved into our first home. It's not been easy, it's been very stressful in fact. And the stress isn't over, not by a long shot. I still have much to do with the banks, mortgage company, collecting documentation, and arguing with stupid people...(long story that I'm not sharing). Then there's the grief the current home landlords are giving me. On top of packing, cleaning & down-sizing. The stress is wearing me thin, breaking down my mental barriers that keep the hell hounds of my memories at bay. My sleeping issues have returned with a vengeance. I get perhaps 4hrs a night now, and not always consecutive. The plus side of less sleep; less dreams. The downside; excessive irritability due to sheer exhaustion. I don't have the patience to deal with petty annoyances. I snap very easily. And I in turn regret my behaviour. And especially when it's directed toward someone innocent. A lot of prayers are being directed to my mental health, even more than towards the process of the house buying and moving. I'll get through this, as will my family, and I know they'll still keep loving me. I look forward to the day, when normal stresses don't cause me to snap like a maniac.

At our new home, there'll be more freedom for us, no annoying landlord to harass us & no Nazi-like rules to suffocate us. They can't take the sky from us!

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